just once I would like to go the whole 30 days without running out of credit gdi

i just legitimately said "there's always pathways" to my mum what the fuck has this year done to me

i have a friend who lives in Minnesota and she was telling me how over there everyone buys Reese's (or was it Hershey's idek) and barely anyone buys Cadbury except for unpleasant candy easter eggs

and i showed her a block of Dairy Milk and she was like 'THEY MAKE THAT??'

jelly is a strange, strange substance

does anyone else remember learning about colloids in year 7 and then they never came up again

cinnamonnnnnnnnnn

im currently making snickerdoodles and they're turning out to be more like sugar cookies but i am 200% ok with that

things to look forward to in uni

- new people
- learning cool stuff
- varied schedule
- free wifi
- FREE WIFI
- FREE WIFI

i think i want a tattoo but hey i have over a year to think about it

what is nicer than a cool breeze on a warm day

slightly alarmed by the sudden spike in hits to my blog omfg

dang it took me this long to realise my timezone was on PST time

sometimes i do stupid things just because people tell me not to

that being said, do not drink plain vanilla extract

don't do it

well that rant really came out of left field huh. not an attack on christianity, just on privileged peeps who try and play the victim. why do i feel the need to justify myself on my own blog. le sigh

hope y'all are having a great break anyway! :)

irritation sparked by an article in the leader i just read

people complaining about the flags being 'season's greetings' and not 'merry christmas' and the monash council subsequently voting to change it back to 'merry christmas' and spending $58,000 on new flags

like

why

it just seems like such a trivial thing to waste your energy arguing over

you get nationally recognised public holidays for all your major celebrations why are you complaining about banners (and the fact that there are banners at all is still in recognition of Christmas anyway???)

it's like you need extra things to complain about and prove that the minority are really oppressing you

and you can't recognise that it's really your influence that IS everywhere and is the norm

would like to point out that australia is not a christian country (and the percentage of australians identifying as christian is dropping every year) and we actually have a section written into the constitution to protect freedom of (and from) religion

i am extremely skeptical of people who complain about political correctness because it really doesn't take that much effort to not be a raging offensive shitbag

i've been making a concerted effort to do things that are unpleasant or make me uncomfortable instead of pushing them aside for later because then it'll just be in the back of my mind making me glum until i do it. plus they're really not that big a deal once i just do them, like speaking to Centrelink workers, not that awful

the fact that i missed out on a scholarship by 2 ATAR points is just sinking in and its really painful and i dont know how im going to pay for any of my books

spent most of yesterday wandering around wheelers hill with michelle and abi, good day C:

snacking in no way induced by attending presentation night

(except it totally is)

snacks on rice pops (the woolworths home brand version of rice bubbles) alone in room at 11pm

eats ice cream alone in room at 11pm

warning: scores ahead

sighhhhhs my GAT results
22, 45, 41

YELLS LOUDLY

WHY WERE MY GAT RESULTS SO MUCH BETTER AHHHHHH

I SURVIVED

so if not exactly excited about my results I'm at least alright with them, the subject scores were lower than expected but the ATAR is around the right place

ok going back to sleep

10 DAYS TILL DOOM

I'm not freaking out about results because I forcibly repress all thoughts of them.

also I finished NaNoWriMo hooray! 4 year streak I am pretty dang happy with that (esp since I missed out on 10 days because exams)

50,334 words, just look at my graph guys

is that a ridiculous graph or what

the amount of writing I've done this work holy shit

and yes I did start writing like the day of my first methods exam instead of studying for exam 2

can you tell my priorities are in order

*reaches through screen*

*virtually pinch punches you*

first day of the month

sometimes i remember that i'm at least a year younger than most of the people i talk to

then i remember i don't care and i doubt anyone else does either

dang I'm at southern cross station and PEOPLE KEEP WALKING PAST WITH STARBUCKS I'M SO JEALOUS

preferences, in order:
- arts/sci @ Monash Clayton
- science @ Monash Clayton
- arts/sci @ La Trobe
- arts/sci @ Swinbourne Hawthorn
- criminology/forensic psychology @ RMIT

tbh I'm pretty confident of getting into my first preference

or at the very least my second

ah I really love train rides into the city

the moment when you can see the buildings reaching up into the blue  sky

it reminds me all over again how much I love Melbourne

home is exhausting.

i just had a dream that we got our VCE results

uh

well if mine ends up as good as my dream i should probably be fine

(86.05?)

(there are some things I miss already but a few of these have been missing for a while and no matter how much longer this year lasted I wouldn't be getting them back)

(i guess i'm just constantly missing things.)

CATCHING FIRE

WAS AMAZE

OH MY GOD MY HEART

it was Tuesday but oh man oh man valedictory was the best

getting pictures & hugs with people was the best part omg

as well as everything else it was just such an awesome night

and I've never been big on events but seriously this was the first one I've been to where I wasn't completely exhausted by 10pm like I got home and was still full of energy (which is really rare for me let me tell you)

but yeah, it was great.

HOW THE FUCK IS THAT THE TIME I SWEAR I JUST GOT UP

freedom is really gr9 like i actually woke up at 9.30 this morning

probably only because i was up till 4am and otherwise i normally wake at 8 max

BUT STILL

i don't mind waking up early though i enjoy the peace in the morning

(the problem with this blog is that i can never decide how much of my life i wanna share)

FREEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMMMM

so exam 1 of methods completed, eh, i'm pretty happy with how i went

looking through it all in reading time was pretty reassuring because i could see how i needed to do everything

tho actually doing it was a bit more problematic, (so much calculus hajsjdh have i mentioned i hate integration) but the log questions and the equating bases was great

idk i'll be happy with B+ tbh i'm losing hope in my 40 for methods i'd rather focus on history tbh

the temptation to just not study for methods exam 2 is overwhelming

none of my exams except eng are longer than 2 hours

thank

help how do i productivity

I'm either super productive over trivial things or utterly exhausted and apathetic

I haven't had the energy to post lately because VCE and avoiding the fact that I'm in VCE takes up most of my time

recently I've been in this mood where I'm just running out of words to say to people and conversation starts feeling like a chore and I kind of just want to isolate myself to recharge but at the same time I find that too lonely

so I keep up talking because hey I love people but simultaneously I can feel myself heading towards not wanting to talk at all

so this weekend will probably be spent studying with my phone on airplane mode (cos I need an alarm.)

WIGS ARE SUCH A PAIN OMG WHY IS MY HAIR SO THICK AND IMPOSSIBLE

i realise that i like the lamest movies

e.g. hancock is one of my fave movies of all time idk what that says about me that it always makes me cry

wow the public library on a saturday morning is the nicest place in the world i could stay here for ages so peaceful yet not empty or lonely it's so nice

i completed the whole english exam within each hour i consider this a great achievement

oh right i also had an exam

eh methods #1 wasn't bad i guess. studying would probably have helped. english in an hour and nine minutes and i'm lying here in bed... i reread TRF last night is that study?

my study technique for english is something like 'start wrtiging and hope for the best' also known as 'just wing it'

i'm cool for half the history exam but the other (american) half.... accounting & legal are the only ones i rlly want to study for tbh.

(for the record the juice was odd at first but surprisingly nice)

(also we had delicious bbq woolworths corn chips)

(except it said serves 4 YEAH RIGHT)

ABOUT TO TRY THIS WITH FAZ

daylight savings time I strongly dislike you

the view outside my bedroom window right now

i really love my room cos i always get to stare at the sunset

help I don't know how to be productive

friends

friends friends friends

old friends new friends long-distance friends internet friends

i love friends friends are great who needs anything else when you have friends

just

friends

i love motivational speeches but they wear off after a few days

so i think i should just watch one every morning?

MY MUM JUST MADE PASSIONFRUIT MELTING MOMENTS AW YEAH

home is a really stressful uncomfortable unhappy environment not at all conducive to studying

do you ever get so fucking mad you could smash things

but at the same time you don't have the energy to be angry

so instead you just detach and let it drain away until you're just left feeling empty and miserable

after 2 hours of baking

CHEESE AND FUCKING CRACKERS

I JUST WANT TO MAKE BROWNIES IS THAT SO HARD??

APPARENTLY SO!

INGREDIENTS? CHECK!

MAKE BATTER? DELICIOUS FUCKING CHECK!

NEATLY LINED BAKING TRAY? CHECKITY CHECK

BAKE FOR 25 MINS

OOPS, SORRY, I'M YOUR OVEN AND WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, I ONLY WANT TO COOK THE TOP AND SIDES I HOPE YOU LIKE RAW BATTER IN THE MIDDLE

SO IT'S BEEN IN THE OVEN FOR NEARLY 50 MINS AND IT'S STILL GOOEY IN THE CENTRE AND I'M NOT STUPID I KNOW BROWNIES ARE STICKY BUT WHEN IT'S ACTUAL UNCOOKED BATTER MIX OOZING OUT SOMETHING IS UP

ugh, this oven, this happens EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING RESEMBLING A CAKE. it's only good for cookies and muffins :(

currently making

i keep having vce-related dreams

like a while back i dreamt i didn't get into my first preference and i only just got into my second preference (which went up by like 5)

and then last night i dreamt it was presenting dux awards (and i did not get the one i was after)

just, this year, man. it's doing my head ing.

did i just write 'as an only child i don't have siblings' what the hell is wrong with me

as an only child i don't have siblings so instead i just go 'OMG THEY'RE GETTING SO TALL' about my friend's younger siblings

how do you avoid getting lonely when studying this is something i have not yet figured out

how do people get things done and actually accomplish stuff somebody tell me the secret

for the record this url is eleventies as in like, twenties, except eleven not twenty, and not 'eleven ties' but i guess if eleven ties is easier to remember don't let me stop you

work done today: 6 questions of methods

guitar is going well though

SOME PEOPLE

SOME PEOPLE

ARE SO FUCKING STUPID

i really like the idea of blogging big pieces of text every post but i guess i feel like i don't have enough to say

or maybe enough i want to say? i'm not the best at sharing my thoughts/opinions, anyone who knows me has probably picked up on that. i'm getting better, it just takes me a while to get to the point where i'm cool with just blurting out whatever.

self-teaching guitar and this is really really fun though i'm not sure my fingers were ever meant to bend this way

on the bright side, i never have to read Così again!!! funny thing is i really liked it the first time i read it, but the more i had to reread it the more i hated it, because holy shit everyone in it is annoying or hypocritical or sexist or all three and nick's a tosser and justin's a tosser and my favourite character vanishes off to c-ward halfway through and the ending is depressing and it's just a really frustrating play ok??

also wow the text response essay i wrote on it was terrible. THOSE PROMPTS WERE DEATH.

when i look at the amount of study i have to fit into the next 36 days i get really freaked out

there is just so much to do and i really regret not starting way earlier and now because of my laziness i'm practically starting from scratch. aaah.

p.s. spent 4 hours cleaning my room and for the first time in 6 years i can actually work at my desk

MOONCAKES

MOONCAKES ARE AMAZING OMG i havent had one for YEARS and my mum got me one and i am having it now and it is just the best

like if you've never had a mooncake i would 10/10 recommend you will not regret it (probs)

they look super cool and taste great

NO MORE SACS EVER EVER EVER AHHHH YESSSSSSSS

just spent half an hour figuring out how to sync my compass calendar to my phone

#productive

i think the reason i don't get twitter is cos i basically use my blog as a twitter

come to think of it i probs don't get blogging either

safety hazards:

- locker doors

seriously put a warning on that shit

i shouldn't wake up late it makes me cranky

that moment when you put freshly cleaned glasses on and it's like I SEE THE WORLD IN HIGH DEFINITION

the funny thing is that legal studies has informed me a whole heap of why going to court isn't a good idea

my year 12 strategy is 'pretend it isn't happening for as long as possible'

probs not the most effective strategy i must admit

so i just found out that my mum originally wanted me to go to brentwood, but when she called enrolments were full... such a weird thought that i could have gone there, would have completely different friends, and would only ever know of this school as 'Dealer's Hill.'

weird thought.

you know when you know a song so well you can sing along without thinking

yup

viva la vida

let's try this again

(i still dk how i want my 'public' writing voice to sound aaah)