intensely plans out how to tell bae i want to cuddle and kiss him in a nonromantic way

'no hetero'

...

that might do it, actually

shoutout to hillarman

thank for ur comments ur the coolest bean xoxo

also the scariest thing about capitalism is that it actually works exactly the way it's supposed to: it functions by marginalising a whole group of people and it relies on keeping them marginalised to continue functioning. it is VERY effective at making it impossible for that group to achieve what others believe they have 'earned' - if it were simply a matter of them ~~'working harder'!~~ capitalism would literally fall apart on its own

hillarman's a+ comment on this post

my type is 'guys who aren't interested in relationships' and it's just about as good as it sounds

protip: don't use witholding attention as a weapon against people

it's a wholly unpleasant thing to do

guess who's dreading being stuck at home for 11 days straight during the mid-semester break?!?!?!?!!!?!?!

my nails are awesome that is all

chelsea and i are going on a gap year to hawaii tonight

if you want in just meet us at the airport

is it too late to take a gap year

it really bugs me that i've never left victoria

i want to dye my hair but having black hair is such a pain like i gotta bleach it and make it super unhealthy and shit and redye often and not use straighteners

...but purple hair tho

also i drink tea now

don't question it

i want a cat

casually ventblogging because it's been a long day and i've got a lot on my mind and an essay i'm procrastinating because i am trash

when i get anxious i start digging my nails into my hands

everyone wants to believe they're middle class and doing well because our capitalist society demands it

because if you're not doing well then obviously it's your own fault

it allows the rich to feel comfortable and self satisfied with the knowledge that they deserve their lifestyle because they have earned it, while the poor aspire to an impossible ideal that surely!! surely they can reach if they only work harder!!, but this ideal is impossible, it was never going to be a fair go

because the capitalism is fundamentally flawed and has the most marginalised parts of society shoulder the blame for a system that was already broken to begin with.

things are getting really hard to handle again

my mum has picked out a name

for me to change my name to

that's nice. do i get any say in this?

i was far less stressed when i didn't actually care about putting in effort and doing well

you really still have this open

the thought of my own insignificance in such an unfathomably huge universe is actually quite comforting to me

i think it's because the idea of complete nonexistence is one i find very soothing

stressed, depressed, but well dressed.

my friend just sent me this

clearly my work is done here.

you are a terrible influence on me. you have nobody to blame but yourself. 

comes home to a boatload of abuse but at least i still look cute

i've been in a really good mood the past two weeks! i feel so light and happy and mainly calm and not like i want to die or start crying or give up on everything at all,

...is this what normal feels like?

i always feel at least a little bit weird in groups unless i have some sort of friendship with everyone there individually

time goes weird when you're in the shower

i'm fairly sure this medicine is working as i tend to be in a much better mood overall, things that would have caused me some amount of distress a month ago feel minor, and in general stress levels are a lot lower. it's pretty rad.

where can i get amanatto

earphones coming in the mail!!! :D (to chelsea's house, but y'know.)

to think i was seriously considering maths teacher for a while

despite all the work i have to do and all the lectures i have to catch up on, i feel in a really good mood these past few days.