things are getting really hard to handle again


now we're back to not having a car again and debt piling up again and this all feels like a never-ending tunnel that i'm going to be stuck in for the next 5 years

it makes things like assignments and essays and tests seem so fucking trivial because what even is the point if i'm going to be stuck like this, why even both trying with anything

like it's hard to see the point of any of this, the job market is fucked, centrelink is fucked, i don't see any sort of career ahead of me because i'm not brilliant enough, or maybe i could be brilliant if i weren't constantly anxious and distressed but i am anxious and distressed and i can't see myself being a functioning adult that can work a full time job and earn enough to support myself and my mother in a comfortable middle-class lifestyle

i can't see myself doing anything but crying at home in a corner once i graduate